The Plunge

First of all, why is it so difficult to write about ANY issue on an anonymous blog? Well let's talk about the power of religion. I am a very very spiritual person. I think Jesus is awesome. I love him, and I would die for him. Almost all of my goals in life are centered around him. I am trying desperately to be closer to him. With that said, I've recently realized (and it was the catalyst for this blog) that it is really really difficult to have your own opinion when you fellowship with a bunch of religious people. Why? Because a differing opinion could mean that I love God and you do not. And a great great great deal of the time that is how it feels.

Hypothetically (HA) there is this leader in the church and they say drinking alcohol is sinful. They had prayed about it, they have studied it in scripture, they are convinced that drinking alcohol is sinful. Because they are a leader, so then must you. It doesn't matter that you studied it and actually found references where it is encouraged (not only Jesus' first miracle of turning water into wine, but my fave is Song of Songs 1:2 insinuating that wine is awesome). It doesn't matter that you've prayed about and feel peace about it. It doesn't matter. That religious leader said no, so therefore you must say no. What this leads to is a bunch of people who only care about a certain issue because someone told them to. Not only does that mean a lot of work for that leader, because re-convincing people something is evil/good can be hard work, but now all these people are judging those around them that disagree for no real reason. Most importantly, their relationship with the Holy Spirit has been hindered, not strengthened (which I believe is the real work of the church leadership - teach people how to have a relationship with God, NOT teach them how they should be living their lives. If they are communing with God, he will take care of that) *stepping off soap box*

So to have opinions on abortion that even slightly differ from ABSOLUTELY NOT can feel daunting. It feels stifling. Basically, all my friends, if they knew how I really felt, would label me a baby killer, which is not what I am. And I hate that. I hate that a lot. I know that no group of people is perfect, and I absolutely love my group of friends, but abortion is a closed book issue. I've never had an abortion and probably never will. Also, I will probably never encourage someone to have an abortion, and I will probably go a step further and beg them not to do it. There are some things about the mega right wing conservative Christian way of looking at this that do bother me, however surprising that may be.

Here is what I understand to be the Pro-life abortion creed. Life starts at conception. Any time you take life is considered murder, and on that premise, abortion should be illegal. I mean, it is pretty straight forward.

Here is what I understand to be the Pro-choice abortion creed. I have the right to make whatever choice I want to make. I do not consider a fetus alive (but that doesn't mean I don't value it) and therefore can with a clear conscience decide whether or not to end my pregnancy based on what is happening in my life at this moment.

I don't agree with either of those statements.

Before I start trying to explain what I do believe. Let me upfront about the fact that MUCH of what I believe lies in the bed of religious conviction. I have both studied this and prayed about it. I am not 100% settled on my opinion, but I am pretty convinced.

I believe a person isn't a person until they are no longer dependent on the mother for life. I believe they are JUST barely not a person. I believe they have a soul and a spirit, and I believe if they die in the uterus they still go before God to be judged. Tricky isn't. (I'm gonna start leaving out the believe part. Its annoying. Ill just state what I think as fact, and you just understand that all this is, is a fact that I believe) Basically, even if you don't believe a person is a person no matter how small, the fact is they will be. And that thing that isn't a person deserves your care and respect.

When conception occurs, biologically, its like hiking Mount Everest. I won't go into it, but ask the millions of women having trouble conceiving. It is difficult. It takes so many factors to line up perfectly to conceive a baby, let alone grow the baby, birth the baby, and then keep the baby alive unprotected by your abdomen. I just can't believe that the thing formed at conception isn't important, vitally important. I mean VITALLY important to the human race.

When you decide to have sex you know two things, 1) it feels great 2) I am doing the only thing I can do to create a baby. Whatever you believe about sex and marriage, it is always true that you can get pregnant having sex. If you are adult enough to have sex. you are adult enough to deal with ALL the consequences that come with it. Abortion as a means of birth control is absolutely 100% ridiculous. It infuriates me. The thought that we can get out of something because a consequence we knew would probably happen happened is disgusting to me. No birth control is 100%. Having an abortion because you were irresponsible and participated in an action that you were not fully ready to embrace the consequences of is childish. Again, if you are not adult enough to deal with the consequences of sex, you should not be having it. So teens that were having sex and WHOOPS got pregnant need to deal with it. Ladies who are on the fast track to their amazing career and WHOOPS get pregnant need to deal with it. Put on your big girl panties. What I am NOT meaning to insinuate is that you should keep the baby. I do not mean to say that sex=motherhood. What I mean to say is that sex=baby, and you need to deal with that. If you are willing to take the risk, fine, be willing to take the consequence. The idea of a people doing something and completely ignoring the natural consequences of it is gross and immoral no matter your religion or lack thereof. There should always be jail for theft. There should always be celebration for successful potty training. There should always be every attempt to keep a baby alive when impregnated.

What about babies with birth defects that will hinder them in life or will cause death immediately outside the womb? Trickier. Because I believe in a God, I believe it is his job to decided when to create someone and when to end their life. From a much less religious perspective, a doctor's job is to save people (or those that will be people). By the nature of their job, they work tirelessly to enhance life, to protect life, and in many many cases, save life. Do no harm. When an abortion is done, there is much harm done. For a doctor or a parent to decide to do harm is a weighty decision that should never be done lightly. Letting a doctor due harm because you are afraid of the course nature might take is not okay. If a baby dies 3 min after birth, I would think as a parent, you would want those 3 min. Death should not be our decision. It isn't a totally un-religious point of view, but it is less so than "Let's leave the dirty work to God." Would you ever look at a blind person and expect them to say, "I wish I had never been born?" I wouldn't, and I think neither would most people. What is most difficult about this aspect of abortion is that because of technology, we can keep people alive that never would have made it otherwise. Because we are immensely blessed we can support the weaker vessels in society where as in the Congo, if you can't run, you lose. I don't think this blessing should mean we are allowed to believe that a life just isn't worth living if it isn't easy and simple.

Okay, so what about Mom's health? Trickiest. Here is where I differ from Pro-lifer's. I don't think fetuses should have equal or more rights than the mom caring for it. I don't think it is wise to make a law saying, "I protect you baby, but not you mom." I don't think it is biblical or godly or morally correct. If a mom is dying, why should she remain pregnant? Obviously I think every option should be looked at to keep mother and baby alive, but in the event that the mom is going to die, the baby needs to come out. If that is at 16 weeks, it will probably die, which is tragic, but not as tragic as losing the mother. If that is at 33 weeks, then there is a good chance everyone is going to be okay. But that isn't considered abortion, it is considered birth and then fetal demise if the baby doesn't survive. I don't really think there should be a difference. The baby comes out, it is born. The baby should come out naturally. The baby should be taken out unnaturally if either the baby or the mother is in danger of death. I also extend this to ectopic pregnancies. It is foolish and bad for the human race to force women to carry babies that will at the very least kill the baby and cause the women to be infertile. At the very worst they both die. Foolish foolish foolish. Babies dependant on their mothers should not have rights equal to their mothers. I do not consider mental health to be covered in this umbrella. Again, if you thought having a baby would unhinge you mentally, you should not have been having sex.

Last but certainly not least, rape. Totally fair question. I also disagree with pro-lifers here. Kinda. :-) To me this is the major infringement of church and state. Having a conviction of the sanctity of life doesn't make you a Christian. It doesn't even make you religious. But telling someone they have to carry a child that is a direct result of abuse is not okay. This is not a consequence of their actions. This is not a selfish decision. This is not the order of nature. As a Christian, I would carry the baby because I believe God put that baby inside of me. But to force a non Christian to do the same, I believe, is persecution because they are not Christian. They believe a child is the biological consequence of sex. Sex they did not agree to. Sex that was probably very damaging. There is absolutely no humane reason a woman that was abused should carry the resulting child. I think I would because of religious reasons and convictions, but to force those on another woman without those convictions is wrong and unAmerican and like I said, I believe, persecution.

So, for the most part, I think abortion is inhumane. I also think to consider an unborn baby to have more rights than a mother is also inhumane. I don't know how I would want that specifically legislated, but I do know that I want abortion highly highly restricted.

There I said it. I would also like to say that I'm not editing this heavily because of the reason I started my blog. I want to respect my opinion. I don't want my opinion to be swayed by fear of anything or anyone but God. I'm afraid that if I re-read this too close I will chicken out, so forgive the grammar and spelling mistakes.

[ETA] I forgot to run the spell check, but didn't change the content. Just trying to stay accountable to myself.