I Feel GOOD! I Knew That I Would!

Yay! I finally feel pretty good. I love feeling good. I miss it when I don't feel good. Physically, not so hot, this pregnancy is being less kind than my previous one, but I know better than to complain too loudly because it can always get worse! Anyway, what I mean is that I feel good in my head. I think me and my crazy lady (counselor) are hitting on something really important for me, and I have high high hopes that this will help in some major areas I've been struggling in.

I realized the other day that I view life like a string in knots. Life was meant to be pleasant, straight forward, a beautiful process. But in this fallen world, sin gets our path tied up in knots. Also, sometimes because we are fallen, God has to put knots in our path so we can ultimately untie other, more important knots.

When you are in labor, it really does help to look at contractions as something with a purpose and to rename them. Instead of painful contractions, you can call them strong surges. The idea is that if you look at them as a good thing, as something that is ultimately helping you and your baby, you don't feel the pain the same because you don't regard the pain the same. You become more willing to work with the pain, you know each pain or surge is really working with you to bring your baby into the world, and that makes everything suck just a little less! Sometimes, a lot less!

While it is unfortunate that I was raised in such a way as to expect life to be hard and to suck (and I am dealing with the ways this has adverse affects on my life when it doesn't suck and isn't difficult), what is fortunate is that I have a perspective on hard events that I don't think other people have. A lot of the parts of myself that are good and that I really love and am glad I possess, I only have because of the struggles I've been through. There are so many WONDERFUL parts of my life, huge blessings, that I never would know or appreciate without the suffering I went through ahead of time. I should be clear and say that I am mostly talking about circumstantial suffering.

Now I am running out of time and just realizing that the whole point of this post was to talk about how good I feel. That's funny to me! Anyway, life is like a knotted string. For me. For now. :-) I don't know why, but thinking of life in that way makes me feel so much better about everything.