It Might Seem Ridiculous

It Might Seem Ridiculous that I have a whole lot to say, but when I write down the perfect comment, or try to post the perfect blog on myspace, I reread everything and then hit "Cancel" almost all the time.

And I just dont like that. Why is what I have to say so insignificant to myself? If it is too small for me, how can it possibly be big enough for anyone else? And this is the Key. I want to write. I love writing. But I have zero confidence in myself to pull off writing. I would LOVE to get paid to write. I have so many opinions, and most of them are strong and perhaps wrong. They are so strong, I know they will make people mad, and at this time in my life, I am terrified of making people mad. I do, however, wish, at some point, not to care. I want not to care, because sometimes I think my opinions are right, and because they are right, they deserved to be published, to move people into right understanding. I realize how arrogant this sounds, and self righteous, and I guess I'll never get away from the fact that it is, but some of these ideas are more important than my ego. Like abortion, or sin, or love, or having fun in life, or how wives should treat their husbands, or pet ownership, or demonic attack.

Now try this on for size. These opinions that I hold so strongly to, I expect to abandon some, none, all of them in a month, a day, 6 years. I expect that today I will write on my love for Lobster, and then the next I will tell you how unclean shellfish is, and then the next tell you again about how much I love shrimp. This is another part of myself I am just going to stop being shameful about. I am wildly inconsistent. And I dont know why. But I believe there is a Holy Spirit working to transform me, so maybe that part will get ironed out or more exaggerated. Let me not pretend to know what the Spirit is doing, unless of course He has clearly written it in Scripture. (ie, I know I am being transformed, I just don't know how or into who specifically)

So, that is the point of this little project. To put down my thoughts. They are very varied. In one blog, I expect to be hailed at the world's most close minded "hypochristian", and in another, I expect to be proclaimed as the world's craziest Heretic. Let me assure you though, to expect also some simpler topics from me. I am young, very young, so I have not had the advantage of experience to fuel many of my opinions, so they remain green. But I will try and be confident about them none the less because even green opinions count. So, the point of this blog is to practice writing, practice taking something inanimate(ideas) and making it concrete(an essay). Ah, the magic.

Now, a little disclaimer. Lets not expect perfect wisdom on the worlds biggest problems. Often I will just jot down how I feel about anything, and that might include goldfish. Im not pretending that I will be so riveting. The above is really just my mission statement, a way to bolster my confidence to just WRITE.