Oh, Life.

So I had my daughter. She is amazing. I just love her. I also appreciate just how easy she is. They don't always come that way. My favorite thing about her is that she smiles! All I have to do it smile at her once and it sets off a whole batch of open mouthed smiles that melt my heart. I had to work really hard for Matthew's smiles, so I'm loving this. She is almost 3 months. She is sleeping through the night which doesn't make me love her more, but sure makes me feel better in the mornings.

I am able to stay at home with my kids for this time, and I am thrilled to be doing so. It is not easy, but I didn't expect it to be. I finally feel like I am starting to make traction with all the care-taking, chores, errands, and cooking that needs to be done. It is funny that I will get one thing done well, but something else squishes out to the sides. This week I have been really good about getting the house work done, but guess how many lunches I have packed for my poor husband? Yup, not one. That seems to be my life's motto at the moment; "Progress, not Perfection".

That is actually a focus taking up a lot of my attention lately. I am really trying to learn how to rely on God's provision, but I just don't understand how that works. I get that he provides, but I what I do understand is what to do when he isn't providing enough. I don't mean material things, I ALWAYS have enough of that. But this sin issue I've got, I just don't understand how NOT to operate in my own strength or how to ask for his, and what to do when I feel like I haven't received it. And if I have received it, but I don't feel like I have, if I sin is that my fault or his? Except that I don't ever think it is God's fault that I sin. I just don't understand. Maybe that is a good question for a forum?

Anyway, super busy, but I hadn't written in a bit.