Embarrassed

You know you are truly embarrassed by something when you are hesitant to write about it on your anonymous blog.

I saw Twilight again today. That makes three times. I mean. Ugh.

The part where Edward admits he has been watching Bella sleep for two months. That is how I feel. I feel super wrong, and creepy, but I'm not stopping myself? What I do wait for is an excuse. The first time was obviously for myself, but the second and third were in service to some friends. I'm gonna just keep telling myself that. At least they liked the film, so that makes me feel a little better. The chick that went to see it with me today hasn't read any of the books. I was sure she was going to turn to me after the movie and shake her head at me in shame effectively saying, "No no Beth. This needs to stop." But she didn't. She sighed and exclaimed, "That was great! I need to read the books!"

I just hope she didn't see the relief on my face.

Someone needs to kick Robert Pattinson for playing Edward so damn well. It just hurts.

Anyway. I'm working hard on coming back to the world of grown ups. It is a good world. I love so many things about this world. But the 17 y/o in me just slithers down her seat to day dream about this romance in secret and it is freaking killin' me.