If this midwifery route is for me, it will be the CPM. I just read a blog entry on a woman in CNM school who is basically in med school. I don't think so. I don't have the time, the money, or the heart to do that. No way. I have what I believe to be a very sound theory about the way life is going to be for U.S. citizens. It is going to be less rosy.
We live in such a time where we have the luxury of choice every day, all day. This won't last forever. We are one or two more major crisis's away from being just like every Joe blow country out there struggling to make it. I hope it doesn't happen, but it could. I can't take out the kind of loans it would take to get my CNM, because they could come take my house. I don't care to spend 8 years becoming a CNM because I want to be practicing ASAP. What if the crash happens before I am licensed (aka educated)? Then it was for naught and I still don't have a house. And I don't care to care for a woman through her whole life (and be educated to do it). I care to help women birth babies. When/If things end up for the rest of us like they are in Houston and New Orleans, then we need to be real. A birthing mom won't give a crap if I can prescribe a medication no one has access to, she cares if I can help get that kid out of her. Plus, I still believe that 8 years field experience is more valuable than 8 years of book experience that might have nothing to do with what I want to do anyway. If it is to be, then CPM it is, unless otherwise convinced.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thoughts - 9-26-08
I don't know why I'm not losing weight. I'm doin the stinkin program right, and Im trying to go to God for everything? Eh. Guess I'll just have to do more of that trusting God thing. Sheesh. :-)
Speaking of Weigh Down, I'm a starvin' marvin. I want some serious food in my belly. Perhaps Pad Thai? mmmmm.... its a deal!
I loved the season premire of Grey's Anatomy! Wow! Im lovin this new dude for Christina! Except he is kinda scary. And I know he said he wouldn't stay, but I think he will. George and Lexi? Eh. Dont really care, Im not feeling the chemistry. I wish the man would just take it easy and focus on the work for a few more shows. So glad Rose isn't really pregnant, I thought I was gonna have to stop watching. The show is almost a soap opera as it is, I dont think I could stay a fan if it went into real soap opera territory. And I want some good things for Slone DANGIT! He is one of my fave characters. They are all so good looking, but nothin is as fun to watch as a man finding himself. But isn't that what Alex is going through? Maybe, but he is a huge jerk. You can go through hard things, but that doesn't entitle you to be a jerk to EVERYONE. I'm just sayin.
I also caught Ugly Betty, and MAN do I love that show. Not as much as Grey's or Private Practice (so cant wait until that premire airs!) It is just so sweet. And I am loving wating her grow up because it just feels so much like what I'm going through in my life, growing up and learning and trying and leaping, and all that great stuff.
Its time to go! PAD THAI!
Speaking of Weigh Down, I'm a starvin' marvin. I want some serious food in my belly. Perhaps Pad Thai? mmmmm.... its a deal!
I loved the season premire of Grey's Anatomy! Wow! Im lovin this new dude for Christina! Except he is kinda scary. And I know he said he wouldn't stay, but I think he will. George and Lexi? Eh. Dont really care, Im not feeling the chemistry. I wish the man would just take it easy and focus on the work for a few more shows. So glad Rose isn't really pregnant, I thought I was gonna have to stop watching. The show is almost a soap opera as it is, I dont think I could stay a fan if it went into real soap opera territory. And I want some good things for Slone DANGIT! He is one of my fave characters. They are all so good looking, but nothin is as fun to watch as a man finding himself. But isn't that what Alex is going through? Maybe, but he is a huge jerk. You can go through hard things, but that doesn't entitle you to be a jerk to EVERYONE. I'm just sayin.
I also caught Ugly Betty, and MAN do I love that show. Not as much as Grey's or Private Practice (so cant wait until that premire airs!) It is just so sweet. And I am loving wating her grow up because it just feels so much like what I'm going through in my life, growing up and learning and trying and leaping, and all that great stuff.
Its time to go! PAD THAI!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Meeting with a Midwife
So, I drove my happy self to another birthing center just down the road from the one I used! The coincidence seems odd. The only two birthing centers I've heard of are smack dab in the same scary part of town, 2 min apart. Whatever.
This was quite an operation! This birthing center has something like 5 or 6 midwives on staff, and 3 apprentices. Whoa dang! I learned so much about the place. Also, I loved chatting with April, the woman who showed me around. Some of the other midwives I've talked to have treated me like I wasn't cool enough to join the club, so it was so very refreshing to spend some time with someone so excited about educating me about midwifery and their apprenticeship program. I think the CPM route is the one I will end up persuing. I just think the time you spend becoming qualified to be a nurse midwife is too valuable to be used in school. I really feel like 8 years of being there with the birthing moms is so much more valuable than being in school where most of the time you aren't touching anything resembling midwifery, mothers or babies. My academia mind is not pleased with my latest opinion. But I'm not set on one certain thing right now. I still have yet to hear from the nurse midwife I know about helping out with some births. The woman has been crazy crazy busy, so I'm not even a little offended. However, if she was less then serious then she will have to do more than avoid my calls. *crazy gleam in my eyes*
I wish I could better pin down how this meeting with April made me feel. The women in the practice were all very different, very caring. They really did like to hear what I had to say, kept asking me questions. I think the vast majority of them were Christian. April let me ask some very hard questions. I asked how she felt CPM's and CNM's compared and if CPM's were a less safe choice. I asked her about infant demise, something Husband is very worried about for me. I asked her about the lifestyle and she gave it to me pretty straight. I even felt comfortable explaining how I thought this might be like a calling for me, so I am being very fearful and slow about it. She really seemed to understand. All in all, it was a terrific experience. I feel much more connected? knowledgable? I certainly feel like I have a better feel of the pace of a midwives life. I've been reading some fantastic midwifery blogs, but sometimes they are just so politically charged, and I don't want to be involved with that so much. I just want to help women have a wonderful, safe, beautiful experience.
I think to sum up what I think of midwifery, I'ld have to rip off the phrase, "It's not the destination that matters, but the journey." I look at the journey of women who have labored in a hospital, and it just looks unnessecarily hard. It makes me want to throw them a party for managing to do it at all. I look at the journey of women who have birthed in birthing centers or at home, and they look like they've have a whole lot of fun. The truth for low risk, healthy women is that the destination is almost always the same, a happy healthy child, but what the mom goes through to get there differs greatly.
This was quite an operation! This birthing center has something like 5 or 6 midwives on staff, and 3 apprentices. Whoa dang! I learned so much about the place. Also, I loved chatting with April, the woman who showed me around. Some of the other midwives I've talked to have treated me like I wasn't cool enough to join the club, so it was so very refreshing to spend some time with someone so excited about educating me about midwifery and their apprenticeship program. I think the CPM route is the one I will end up persuing. I just think the time you spend becoming qualified to be a nurse midwife is too valuable to be used in school. I really feel like 8 years of being there with the birthing moms is so much more valuable than being in school where most of the time you aren't touching anything resembling midwifery, mothers or babies. My academia mind is not pleased with my latest opinion. But I'm not set on one certain thing right now. I still have yet to hear from the nurse midwife I know about helping out with some births. The woman has been crazy crazy busy, so I'm not even a little offended. However, if she was less then serious then she will have to do more than avoid my calls. *crazy gleam in my eyes*
I wish I could better pin down how this meeting with April made me feel. The women in the practice were all very different, very caring. They really did like to hear what I had to say, kept asking me questions. I think the vast majority of them were Christian. April let me ask some very hard questions. I asked how she felt CPM's and CNM's compared and if CPM's were a less safe choice. I asked her about infant demise, something Husband is very worried about for me. I asked her about the lifestyle and she gave it to me pretty straight. I even felt comfortable explaining how I thought this might be like a calling for me, so I am being very fearful and slow about it. She really seemed to understand. All in all, it was a terrific experience. I feel much more connected? knowledgable? I certainly feel like I have a better feel of the pace of a midwives life. I've been reading some fantastic midwifery blogs, but sometimes they are just so politically charged, and I don't want to be involved with that so much. I just want to help women have a wonderful, safe, beautiful experience.
I think to sum up what I think of midwifery, I'ld have to rip off the phrase, "It's not the destination that matters, but the journey." I look at the journey of women who have labored in a hospital, and it just looks unnessecarily hard. It makes me want to throw them a party for managing to do it at all. I look at the journey of women who have birthed in birthing centers or at home, and they look like they've have a whole lot of fun. The truth for low risk, healthy women is that the destination is almost always the same, a happy healthy child, but what the mom goes through to get there differs greatly.
The Birthday
The birthday of my brother went fine. Well, it went fine, but there were some really terrible moments. Well, just one really terrible moment. I spent all day wondering if I were going to be late to the dang thing I was supposed to be cooking for because of my meeting with some midwives (posting about that next). And I was, but brother and his girlfriend were even later. I think the poor dear might be a little afraid of me. Perhaps both the poor dears are. Anyway, Husband made most of the food, I finished up and then I get yet another call that this ADULT is going to be even later than expected.
Really, its not such a huge thing, except I've got this 18 month old that just goes ape shit when he isn't in bed by 8:30. He is the crankiest crank ever. Couple this with his absolute hatred of missing anything (wonder where he gets that from.................... no I don't). It's a recipe for the world's worst evening. No I wont go to bed! Why the hell are you still here, I need to go to bed! For the love of god, what is going on?! And then his head starts spinning. It's terrible. Well, lucky for me, my brother was so late, Matthew was already in bed. Perfect! Except we spent the whole evening whispering, "Happy Birthday Brother. SHUT THE HELL UP!"
But because of this worry of trying to do something nice, being disrespected (in all fairness it was the girlfriend's school's fault, but whatever), worrying about Son, trying to get a lot of food made, and probably a healthy dose of "I'm a crazy" I ended up just losing it. I just start bawling like a baby. I had to go outside because I didn't want to wake the real baby. Husband doesn't deal with my tears very well (posting about that after the next post) so I was pretty much left to myself to suck it up and be nice to be soon to be arriving guests. But I didn't. I snapped at Warren and said a fistful of mean things. I cried some more. Some of the food got over cooked (no one noticed though because it was Husband's roast, and he makes a kick butt roast (get it?)). Right when they arrived, I fled to the bedroom to take another minute and do something about my red eyes. I came out totally poised and ready to have a sweet birthday dinner.
And it worked. Everything went well. I ignored Husband for most of the meal and concentrated on Brother and Girlfriend. Husband took a call that lasted the rest of the time they were there, which would have really offended me any other time, but this time I was grateful. I shoved pretty tasty fair down every one's throat, and then we finished Brother's birthday gift, home made Thin Mints. Yeah, like the ones the Girl Scouts sell. Boo Yah. Its a simple process, but a rather long one without machinery, and it costs as much as one of those boxes. So I recommend them for the truly desperate. So, all in all, a fine time. I can't remember if Husband and I worked it out, we've had another different argument since then and have also recovered from that.
I can't post the recipe because the site has a pretty straight forward and hard to miss policy, but here is how to find it. Go to www.topsecretrecipes.com. Click on the "Recipes" box. I think the Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints were on page 8. Sorry that is so round about. I was afraid to post the link because you have to agree to something something and I didn't want it to not work. Plus I'm lazy. But not too lazy to make these cookies! A couple of my own notes. If you can buy some kind of chocolate wafer that is on the thinnish side, I would highly recommend it! I think Nabisco has one you can get on eBay, but that stores don't carry. I dunno. Whatever, if you can get them, then all you have to do is coat! The second thought has to do with coating. I think I'm not such a fan of how much shortening they use. Should I make these again, I'm going to try to used much less. I think it keeps the chocolate from resetting as well. But keep in mind, that is an untested thought! The orig recipe is delish but it will melt in you hand! There ya go.
Really, its not such a huge thing, except I've got this 18 month old that just goes ape shit when he isn't in bed by 8:30. He is the crankiest crank ever. Couple this with his absolute hatred of missing anything (wonder where he gets that from.................... no I don't). It's a recipe for the world's worst evening. No I wont go to bed! Why the hell are you still here, I need to go to bed! For the love of god, what is going on?! And then his head starts spinning. It's terrible. Well, lucky for me, my brother was so late, Matthew was already in bed. Perfect! Except we spent the whole evening whispering, "Happy Birthday Brother. SHUT THE HELL UP!"
But because of this worry of trying to do something nice, being disrespected (in all fairness it was the girlfriend's school's fault, but whatever), worrying about Son, trying to get a lot of food made, and probably a healthy dose of "I'm a crazy" I ended up just losing it. I just start bawling like a baby. I had to go outside because I didn't want to wake the real baby. Husband doesn't deal with my tears very well (posting about that after the next post) so I was pretty much left to myself to suck it up and be nice to be soon to be arriving guests. But I didn't. I snapped at Warren and said a fistful of mean things. I cried some more. Some of the food got over cooked (no one noticed though because it was Husband's roast, and he makes a kick butt roast (get it?)). Right when they arrived, I fled to the bedroom to take another minute and do something about my red eyes. I came out totally poised and ready to have a sweet birthday dinner.
And it worked. Everything went well. I ignored Husband for most of the meal and concentrated on Brother and Girlfriend. Husband took a call that lasted the rest of the time they were there, which would have really offended me any other time, but this time I was grateful. I shoved pretty tasty fair down every one's throat, and then we finished Brother's birthday gift, home made Thin Mints. Yeah, like the ones the Girl Scouts sell. Boo Yah. Its a simple process, but a rather long one without machinery, and it costs as much as one of those boxes. So I recommend them for the truly desperate. So, all in all, a fine time. I can't remember if Husband and I worked it out, we've had another different argument since then and have also recovered from that.
I can't post the recipe because the site has a pretty straight forward and hard to miss policy, but here is how to find it. Go to www.topsecretrecipes.com. Click on the "Recipes" box. I think the Girl Scout Cookies Thin Mints were on page 8. Sorry that is so round about. I was afraid to post the link because you have to agree to something something and I didn't want it to not work. Plus I'm lazy. But not too lazy to make these cookies! A couple of my own notes. If you can buy some kind of chocolate wafer that is on the thinnish side, I would highly recommend it! I think Nabisco has one you can get on eBay, but that stores don't carry. I dunno. Whatever, if you can get them, then all you have to do is coat! The second thought has to do with coating. I think I'm not such a fan of how much shortening they use. Should I make these again, I'm going to try to used much less. I think it keeps the chocolate from resetting as well. But keep in mind, that is an untested thought! The orig recipe is delish but it will melt in you hand! There ya go.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Things On My Mind Lately
The midwife thing. I have my appt with the CPM's tomorrow night! Yay! And my CNM hasn't called me back about the birth assistant thing. But hopefully that works out okay.
My brother's 22 b-day. I have this philosophy that you aren't an adult until you are 22. Before 18, you are too busy dreaming about being an "adult", 18-21 is like an internship, but when you hit 22. TADAH, Adult! There really are no more excuses for you once you are 22. A young adult, for sure, but still, a ful fledged adult! We are celebrating tomorrow (I know, a busy day! Ill try and remember and post about it).
Im stealing 2 batteries from work so my camera works again. I freaking need more pictures of my family!
I need a hair cut, in a bad bad bad way!
And I really really am enjoying Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga WAY too much.
My brother's 22 b-day. I have this philosophy that you aren't an adult until you are 22. Before 18, you are too busy dreaming about being an "adult", 18-21 is like an internship, but when you hit 22. TADAH, Adult! There really are no more excuses for you once you are 22. A young adult, for sure, but still, a ful fledged adult! We are celebrating tomorrow (I know, a busy day! Ill try and remember and post about it).
Im stealing 2 batteries from work so my camera works again. I freaking need more pictures of my family!
I need a hair cut, in a bad bad bad way!
And I really really am enjoying Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga WAY too much.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Close Call!
"you really should write...I want you to be the 1st dual occupationists Writer/Midwife that A-town has ever known" - a good friend of mine
I was THIS close to telling him about this blog, but not giving him the URL. Then I remembered, if he wanted to, he could probably search for it by email address....
I was THIS close to telling him about this blog, but not giving him the URL. Then I remembered, if he wanted to, he could probably search for it by email address....
I am so so so excited. I seldom write to alleviate boredom (hmm, perhaps I should...), but time is crawling like a SLUG! I've been at work and have read all my blogs, finished my work for the day (gotta love Fridays when the boss is out and there is no more work to be handed out!), and its only 10:20!! SQUEE!
Why am I so excited? Well, because I get to see my baby today! Not MY baby so much, but close enough. The sweet lady I was pregnant with is carrying her second and has invited me to the sonogram. I mean THE sonogram. They take all the measurements to make sure things are developing well. But most importantly (please know that was a joke) is that we should find out the gender! My money is on a boy. She has had a very very boy like pregnancy so far, and her pregnancy with her girl was very very girl like, all very stereotypical. She let me palpate her last night and I was searching and searching towards the top, because that is where Grace hung out the entire time. Alas, the booger was sittin in her hips! I squashed him around for a few min. It was really really neat. I'm still not sure how midwives can know what they are feeling. I just felt moosh and a lump every so often. I certainly couldnt tell if it was butt, head, back, whatever. But, she is only 18 weeks along, soooooo, yeah. Anything to make me feel better about my innadequate skills.
Speaking of birth, I went to my midwife yesterday for a pap, and she offered me a position! It is a wee little thing, birthing assistant. The posistion is not so small, but I can only be on call on the weekends, so I might not get a whole lot of calls! Either way, I think it is fantastic! It is one thing to think, "I want to fly planes." but then you are devestated when you have gone through all the training and simulations only to find out you are terrified of heights. See my point? So before I throw myself head first into this, I just want to be sure I actually like it and can handle it.
She drew blood on a lady getting her glucose test done and I watched because I am curious and also slightly irresponsible. How so? Well, I often faint around punctures, my own or others. I have gotten a lot better in recent years, seeing as pregnancy is like a non stop stab fest. But this is one of the big things concerning me about midwfiery. Sometimes, Im just gonna need to stab people, okay? And I can't faint when Im doing that. I didn't even get woozy. Not even a little bit. I was so proud! I didnt tell either one of them because I didnt want them to think I was a jerk for testing myself like that. How nice would that have been, "dum de dum, Im drawing blood. CRAP, my new birthing assitant (squee!) just passed out!!! And there is a needle in my patients hand! Crap!". I know Betty likes me, but I thought telling them would have been a bad move. So Im telling you!
And now we get to the point when I remember why I dont like to blog when Im bored. Because I have nothing to say. Im totally consumed with this sonogram, and I have a little less than an hour to go..... Im not even gonna try to write. Peace. Im playing tetris!
Why am I so excited? Well, because I get to see my baby today! Not MY baby so much, but close enough. The sweet lady I was pregnant with is carrying her second and has invited me to the sonogram. I mean THE sonogram. They take all the measurements to make sure things are developing well. But most importantly (please know that was a joke) is that we should find out the gender! My money is on a boy. She has had a very very boy like pregnancy so far, and her pregnancy with her girl was very very girl like, all very stereotypical. She let me palpate her last night and I was searching and searching towards the top, because that is where Grace hung out the entire time. Alas, the booger was sittin in her hips! I squashed him around for a few min. It was really really neat. I'm still not sure how midwives can know what they are feeling. I just felt moosh and a lump every so often. I certainly couldnt tell if it was butt, head, back, whatever. But, she is only 18 weeks along, soooooo, yeah. Anything to make me feel better about my innadequate skills.
Speaking of birth, I went to my midwife yesterday for a pap, and she offered me a position! It is a wee little thing, birthing assistant. The posistion is not so small, but I can only be on call on the weekends, so I might not get a whole lot of calls! Either way, I think it is fantastic! It is one thing to think, "I want to fly planes." but then you are devestated when you have gone through all the training and simulations only to find out you are terrified of heights. See my point? So before I throw myself head first into this, I just want to be sure I actually like it and can handle it.
She drew blood on a lady getting her glucose test done and I watched because I am curious and also slightly irresponsible. How so? Well, I often faint around punctures, my own or others. I have gotten a lot better in recent years, seeing as pregnancy is like a non stop stab fest. But this is one of the big things concerning me about midwfiery. Sometimes, Im just gonna need to stab people, okay? And I can't faint when Im doing that. I didn't even get woozy. Not even a little bit. I was so proud! I didnt tell either one of them because I didnt want them to think I was a jerk for testing myself like that. How nice would that have been, "dum de dum, Im drawing blood. CRAP, my new birthing assitant (squee!) just passed out!!! And there is a needle in my patients hand! Crap!". I know Betty likes me, but I thought telling them would have been a bad move. So Im telling you!
And now we get to the point when I remember why I dont like to blog when Im bored. Because I have nothing to say. Im totally consumed with this sonogram, and I have a little less than an hour to go..... Im not even gonna try to write. Peace. Im playing tetris!
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