"you really should write...I want you to be the 1st dual occupationists Writer/Midwife that A-town has ever known" - a good friend of mine
I was THIS close to telling him about this blog, but not giving him the URL. Then I remembered, if he wanted to, he could probably search for it by email address....
Friday, September 12, 2008
I am so so so excited. I seldom write to alleviate boredom (hmm, perhaps I should...), but time is crawling like a SLUG! I've been at work and have read all my blogs, finished my work for the day (gotta love Fridays when the boss is out and there is no more work to be handed out!), and its only 10:20!! SQUEE!
Why am I so excited? Well, because I get to see my baby today! Not MY baby so much, but close enough. The sweet lady I was pregnant with is carrying her second and has invited me to the sonogram. I mean THE sonogram. They take all the measurements to make sure things are developing well. But most importantly (please know that was a joke) is that we should find out the gender! My money is on a boy. She has had a very very boy like pregnancy so far, and her pregnancy with her girl was very very girl like, all very stereotypical. She let me palpate her last night and I was searching and searching towards the top, because that is where Grace hung out the entire time. Alas, the booger was sittin in her hips! I squashed him around for a few min. It was really really neat. I'm still not sure how midwives can know what they are feeling. I just felt moosh and a lump every so often. I certainly couldnt tell if it was butt, head, back, whatever. But, she is only 18 weeks along, soooooo, yeah. Anything to make me feel better about my innadequate skills.
Speaking of birth, I went to my midwife yesterday for a pap, and she offered me a position! It is a wee little thing, birthing assistant. The posistion is not so small, but I can only be on call on the weekends, so I might not get a whole lot of calls! Either way, I think it is fantastic! It is one thing to think, "I want to fly planes." but then you are devestated when you have gone through all the training and simulations only to find out you are terrified of heights. See my point? So before I throw myself head first into this, I just want to be sure I actually like it and can handle it.
She drew blood on a lady getting her glucose test done and I watched because I am curious and also slightly irresponsible. How so? Well, I often faint around punctures, my own or others. I have gotten a lot better in recent years, seeing as pregnancy is like a non stop stab fest. But this is one of the big things concerning me about midwfiery. Sometimes, Im just gonna need to stab people, okay? And I can't faint when Im doing that. I didn't even get woozy. Not even a little bit. I was so proud! I didnt tell either one of them because I didnt want them to think I was a jerk for testing myself like that. How nice would that have been, "dum de dum, Im drawing blood. CRAP, my new birthing assitant (squee!) just passed out!!! And there is a needle in my patients hand! Crap!". I know Betty likes me, but I thought telling them would have been a bad move. So Im telling you!
And now we get to the point when I remember why I dont like to blog when Im bored. Because I have nothing to say. Im totally consumed with this sonogram, and I have a little less than an hour to go..... Im not even gonna try to write. Peace. Im playing tetris!
Why am I so excited? Well, because I get to see my baby today! Not MY baby so much, but close enough. The sweet lady I was pregnant with is carrying her second and has invited me to the sonogram. I mean THE sonogram. They take all the measurements to make sure things are developing well. But most importantly (please know that was a joke) is that we should find out the gender! My money is on a boy. She has had a very very boy like pregnancy so far, and her pregnancy with her girl was very very girl like, all very stereotypical. She let me palpate her last night and I was searching and searching towards the top, because that is where Grace hung out the entire time. Alas, the booger was sittin in her hips! I squashed him around for a few min. It was really really neat. I'm still not sure how midwives can know what they are feeling. I just felt moosh and a lump every so often. I certainly couldnt tell if it was butt, head, back, whatever. But, she is only 18 weeks along, soooooo, yeah. Anything to make me feel better about my innadequate skills.
Speaking of birth, I went to my midwife yesterday for a pap, and she offered me a position! It is a wee little thing, birthing assistant. The posistion is not so small, but I can only be on call on the weekends, so I might not get a whole lot of calls! Either way, I think it is fantastic! It is one thing to think, "I want to fly planes." but then you are devestated when you have gone through all the training and simulations only to find out you are terrified of heights. See my point? So before I throw myself head first into this, I just want to be sure I actually like it and can handle it.
She drew blood on a lady getting her glucose test done and I watched because I am curious and also slightly irresponsible. How so? Well, I often faint around punctures, my own or others. I have gotten a lot better in recent years, seeing as pregnancy is like a non stop stab fest. But this is one of the big things concerning me about midwfiery. Sometimes, Im just gonna need to stab people, okay? And I can't faint when Im doing that. I didn't even get woozy. Not even a little bit. I was so proud! I didnt tell either one of them because I didnt want them to think I was a jerk for testing myself like that. How nice would that have been, "dum de dum, Im drawing blood. CRAP, my new birthing assitant (squee!) just passed out!!! And there is a needle in my patients hand! Crap!". I know Betty likes me, but I thought telling them would have been a bad move. So Im telling you!
And now we get to the point when I remember why I dont like to blog when Im bored. Because I have nothing to say. Im totally consumed with this sonogram, and I have a little less than an hour to go..... Im not even gonna try to write. Peace. Im playing tetris!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Why the Hell Not
I have at least one more entry to write after this. There is a lot on my mind. And it is my blog. Why the hell can't I post 4-6 new entires in one day if I want? HMM?
Matthew woke up before I could leave the house this morning. It breaks my heart in half to leave him when he is crying after me. It just totally ruins me for the day until I get back home to him. I hate it. He was so cuddly this morning. I always know he is sick when he voluntarily crawls into my arms and actually stays there for more than 3 seconds. Last night I had some good friends over and one had her toddler that is a week older than Matt. They always play so well together. Matt is just a pushover enough that Grace doesn't get angry, but he is spunky enough to keep it interesting. It is quite a wonderful combination for them. Anyway, he kept on for an hour, but then sat on the couch with me, which he never does. Never. He crawls all over the couch and me sometimes, but not just next to me. Took his temp after I noticed he was an oven and it was 102.1!!! Gave that bad boy some Motrin and kicked everyone out. I think it is just due to teething. They (the websites/books/dr's) say that teething doesn't cause fevers, but I really think it does. I tell you that to say, when he woke up with an almost fever (99.5) I just wanted to stay home with him and cuddle. Sicks babies are an abmination against God. Having to leave your sick baby is like going to the most severe level of Hell! And then he cries after you and you can hear him scream harder when you close the door to the garage! AHHHHH!! THE MISERY AND THE PAIN!!!
It is like torture this parenting stuff. The best, sweetest, most delicious torture.
Matthew woke up before I could leave the house this morning. It breaks my heart in half to leave him when he is crying after me. It just totally ruins me for the day until I get back home to him. I hate it. He was so cuddly this morning. I always know he is sick when he voluntarily crawls into my arms and actually stays there for more than 3 seconds. Last night I had some good friends over and one had her toddler that is a week older than Matt. They always play so well together. Matt is just a pushover enough that Grace doesn't get angry, but he is spunky enough to keep it interesting. It is quite a wonderful combination for them. Anyway, he kept on for an hour, but then sat on the couch with me, which he never does. Never. He crawls all over the couch and me sometimes, but not just next to me. Took his temp after I noticed he was an oven and it was 102.1!!! Gave that bad boy some Motrin and kicked everyone out. I think it is just due to teething. They (the websites/books/dr's) say that teething doesn't cause fevers, but I really think it does. I tell you that to say, when he woke up with an almost fever (99.5) I just wanted to stay home with him and cuddle. Sicks babies are an abmination against God. Having to leave your sick baby is like going to the most severe level of Hell! And then he cries after you and you can hear him scream harder when you close the door to the garage! AHHHHH!! THE MISERY AND THE PAIN!!!
It is like torture this parenting stuff. The best, sweetest, most delicious torture.
Anonymous Blogging
My best friend anonymously blogs, just like me (you are in my anonymous blog now), and it is driving me absolutely BaNaNa'S. I want to read what she is writing, but she won't take my bait (just as she shouldn't) to switch and read what the other is writing. Sad thing is, if I knew someone was reading this thing, I would write differently. That is the whole point of this exercise to is figure out how I really think about things, so that I can present an opinion I have kind of worked out for myself. I am not pleasing anyone with this thing, just myself. I only publish it because... well.. I dont really know why. I think it feels more risky, like I am really being myself. If I write and don't publish then it's like I could say I was pretending, or I can throw it away or delete it and just pretend it never was. Often times in a word document, I just never finish the thought, and then I quit with out saving. This wayI have to finish the thought and then I can't delete it unless I really do figure out I don't agree with what I've said. I hate even the thought of renigging on something I've said. Why do you take it back? You changed your mind? Were you lying before? With the exception of a life experience, which can always trumps former opinions, I just dont like "changing my mind". In fact I've already kind of done that in the midwife thing. I have all but decided that I am going to not get my masters, just go for the apprenticship. And I hate that! I had already told some people I was going to go back to school! THIS is why I am indecisive! Because I Hate changing my mind!
Anyway, if you are reading this Caroline dear, do me a favor and never tell me. I would have to start a new blog, and so far Im rather fond of this one.
Anyway, if you are reading this Caroline dear, do me a favor and never tell me. I would have to start a new blog, and so far Im rather fond of this one.
Bless This Mess
As a spiritually minded but slightly liberal person, this political season is just giving me the creeps. I am very conservative in my moral beliefs - mainly in the area of abortion. But just because a candidate is anti-abortion, it doesn't necessarily mean he is a good politician and the one I want leading this nation. Bush, who was billed as "moral" (and I'm sure he is) was not a very good leader. I felt like there was a great deal of smoke and mirrors. The war, tax rebate, those safety colors (what is that called), emergency aid, etc. I'm not too involved politically. Take that for what it is. I think what I want to see is a politician that can unify the nation. It feels to me like there is a great spiritual civil war on the horizon in this nation. Forget the words Republican and Democrat. The words Liberal and Conservative are starting to divide in such a way, there is no way to bridge the gap. There is no taking of one and taking of the other to form a good policy. The gap is becoming so wide our policies are turning into all or nothing ventures.
This is hard for a gal like me. I tend to prefer a good mixture of conservative and liberal policies. I like a healthy amount of government involvement, I like guns, I like capitol punishment, I like welfare, I like that the poor aren't dying on our streets. But since we are becoming so divided morally, we aren't seeing eye to eye politically. I almost wish they would consider abortion and gay marriage non-federal issues, non state issues, non government issues, and call it done. I don't have an answer on HOW they can do that, it is just a fantasy. I can do that in my world, dream about stuff that will never happen.
Actually, I do have solutions. Marriage is a spiritual designation. It started with the church. So really, the state should have no say in it anyway. I get the whole book keeping aspect though, so give gay people a different word with the same state benefits, union, or something. That can say its degrading all they want, but marriage is not a state union, it is a spiritual union. Period. You cant be married if the Lord wont allow it in the first place. Abortion? Outlaw it except in the case of rape and danger to the mother (because an unborn person is not a person, they are less than, though still to be considered). Of course you would then have all these people lying about getting raped, but that is on them, I say. Keeps our unmoral girls from going to Mexico and hurting themselves in their sin. I'm sure these ideas are way flawed, but whatever, they are ideas. Why does this have to be so hard? Then we can move on as a nation and start dealing with crap, like social security and health care. Why in that order, moral before policy? Because no one is focusing. You want to kill babies! You want to kill our nations boys! You only serve the rich! You only serve yourself! Blah Blah Blah. Do we have to keep bleeding money and resources?!?!?!?!? We are not an all powerful nation, we have major weaknesses and they needed to be patched up. Don't get my started on oil. Just youtube Anne Korin. Im with her on that.
Sign. So I don't know who to vote for. I do NOT want Obama in office. He would certainly get things done, which Im dying to see, but I dont think I want the things he is going to do done, KWIM? McCain however seems more of the same ol' Shrub we've had. His vice president looks nothing if not interesting, however..... We'll see what storms she brews......
We are in a major political season and everyone knows it. If Bush thought his terms were difficult, it is nothing on the next few guys (or gals). Things are getting worse friends. We will certainly be affected, lets just pray that we dont recieve the brunt of the attack.
This is hard for a gal like me. I tend to prefer a good mixture of conservative and liberal policies. I like a healthy amount of government involvement, I like guns, I like capitol punishment, I like welfare, I like that the poor aren't dying on our streets. But since we are becoming so divided morally, we aren't seeing eye to eye politically. I almost wish they would consider abortion and gay marriage non-federal issues, non state issues, non government issues, and call it done. I don't have an answer on HOW they can do that, it is just a fantasy. I can do that in my world, dream about stuff that will never happen.
Actually, I do have solutions. Marriage is a spiritual designation. It started with the church. So really, the state should have no say in it anyway. I get the whole book keeping aspect though, so give gay people a different word with the same state benefits, union, or something. That can say its degrading all they want, but marriage is not a state union, it is a spiritual union. Period. You cant be married if the Lord wont allow it in the first place. Abortion? Outlaw it except in the case of rape and danger to the mother (because an unborn person is not a person, they are less than, though still to be considered). Of course you would then have all these people lying about getting raped, but that is on them, I say. Keeps our unmoral girls from going to Mexico and hurting themselves in their sin. I'm sure these ideas are way flawed, but whatever, they are ideas. Why does this have to be so hard? Then we can move on as a nation and start dealing with crap, like social security and health care. Why in that order, moral before policy? Because no one is focusing. You want to kill babies! You want to kill our nations boys! You only serve the rich! You only serve yourself! Blah Blah Blah. Do we have to keep bleeding money and resources?!?!?!?!? We are not an all powerful nation, we have major weaknesses and they needed to be patched up. Don't get my started on oil. Just youtube Anne Korin. Im with her on that.
Sign. So I don't know who to vote for. I do NOT want Obama in office. He would certainly get things done, which Im dying to see, but I dont think I want the things he is going to do done, KWIM? McCain however seems more of the same ol' Shrub we've had. His vice president looks nothing if not interesting, however..... We'll see what storms she brews......
We are in a major political season and everyone knows it. If Bush thought his terms were difficult, it is nothing on the next few guys (or gals). Things are getting worse friends. We will certainly be affected, lets just pray that we dont recieve the brunt of the attack.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Midwifery?
I've been all in my head about my purpose (who is thinking of Steve Martin yelling, "Hey Mah! I've found my PURPOSE!!"). My husband's purpose seems to be not to worry about a purpose and accept each day as a challenge and joy. I think that is admirable, but I want a calling, something to devote many of my efforts to.
Currently, I wake up around 7am, get ready for work without doing my hair or make-up, drop the kiddo off at Grannie's, work on this computer all day, usually drawing up construction drawing, but on the slow times like now, blog, read other blogs, whatever, get off work, pick up the kiddo, fill my evening with friends, fun, at home movies, chores, and playing with the kiddo, then go to bed. Every day it is just the same. Sameness can be hard for me, I thrive on change, but I think sameness with a purpose would be slightly more fulfilling.
A little disclaimer - I know a job doesn't necessarily equal a purpose or calling. I know even fulfilling my calling life can be hard and boring. I know I can't wait to be happy until my calling has been given to me, but that I need to find joy now, in this moment.
But I still want a calling.
This all started when I finally started coming to the grips that I might not get to stay at home with my kiddos. I desperately want to, but it just looks like that isn't an option. Rather, I should stop waiting for it to be an option. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. However, drafting was never on my great big list of things I'd like to be when I grew up. In fact, that list consisted of nothing involving sitting behind a desk all day. I'm bored. and I feel like I'm not contributing to society in a way that would be truly useful. So the cogs started turning...
I came to two conclusions as a career path to follow; midwifery and teaching math to JH students. Yup...
Upon further consideration I've decided that while I could tolerate teaching, it wasn't my bag of marbles. Ultimately I think I would feel the same way I do now. Stuck. Birth, however, feels right. I LOVE birth. I can't wait to do it again. I want other people to love birth, to feel victorious, to feel strong! I want other people to show themselves how powerful and loving they are. I want to see babies meet their moms and dads for the first time. I want to counsel people through their fears and doubts to see them conquer those feelings! Unfortunately there are two "complications" (read: two things that scare me). 1) Education. To become a Certified Nurse Midwife I would have to go to school for about 8 years part time (remember, I have to work). It would take a year or two to become a Certified Professional Midwife. One is a master's degree and the other is a certification. One is official schooling and one is an apprenticeship. They do the same thing (mostly) and make the same money with where I would want to take things, so it makes sense to take less time to get doing what it is I really want to do. But I don't want to be less qualified doing it. Such is the dilemma. So that is the first fear. Minor in comparison to the second.
I would be so very responsible. These are people's lives. These are souls straight from heaven. What if I mess up (and I will. I'm not perfect, remember?). What if when I mess up someone gets hurt or dies? Does that mean I am a bad midwife and need to stop practicing, or does that mean I grieve, LEARN, forgive myself, and keep going? I know I would have to keep going. But oh, to be the one around and "in charge" when the One really in charge decides this person needs to go back to him after so short a time? What would I do with the parents pain? How could I possibly have a procedure for that? How do you explain? What if it happened twice? Could I say, like an OB, that these things just happen and we just don't know why? Or would we have the extra weight of being "irresponsible" trying to give birth outside of a hospital. Well, we would have that weight, but what do you do with such a lie? Goodness knows if I get in this and find out I'm not very good at it, I will stop immediately and go back to my safe drafting. And that is the difference isn't it?
Birthing can be very unsafe. How do you educate a parent of the risks without scaring their cervix shut? For those unaware, fear is the number one reason women don't progress in labor. Animals and humans alike have the ability to close back up when they feel like they are in danger (ie when they are suddenly being hunted). It is fortuante that most women choosing midwives are doing so with a lot of education. They understand many of the risks, but they are still putting much of their trust in me. And I a terrified that instead of that increasing the safety of their birth, that it might increase the danger.
Maybe this is a healthy fear that will propel me into being the best I can be. I hope this isn't a fear that locks me down and stops me, if this is truly what I am called to do.
Still, the decision is all but made. Anything can get in the way, and if this isn't the Lord's will, I pray that something would. But for now it seems I am getting ready to leave the grass plains of predictability and about the enter an unknown forest of danger and mystery.
Either way, husband has made a very valid point. No career shifts until I have finished my Associates Degree. I have 3-4 classes left, so it is just a matter of doing it. I totally agree with him. *sigh* At least there is a bit of transition (pun intended!) between all of this.
Currently, I wake up around 7am, get ready for work without doing my hair or make-up, drop the kiddo off at Grannie's, work on this computer all day, usually drawing up construction drawing, but on the slow times like now, blog, read other blogs, whatever, get off work, pick up the kiddo, fill my evening with friends, fun, at home movies, chores, and playing with the kiddo, then go to bed. Every day it is just the same. Sameness can be hard for me, I thrive on change, but I think sameness with a purpose would be slightly more fulfilling.
A little disclaimer - I know a job doesn't necessarily equal a purpose or calling. I know even fulfilling my calling life can be hard and boring. I know I can't wait to be happy until my calling has been given to me, but that I need to find joy now, in this moment.
But I still want a calling.
This all started when I finally started coming to the grips that I might not get to stay at home with my kiddos. I desperately want to, but it just looks like that isn't an option. Rather, I should stop waiting for it to be an option. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. However, drafting was never on my great big list of things I'd like to be when I grew up. In fact, that list consisted of nothing involving sitting behind a desk all day. I'm bored. and I feel like I'm not contributing to society in a way that would be truly useful. So the cogs started turning...
I came to two conclusions as a career path to follow; midwifery and teaching math to JH students. Yup...
Upon further consideration I've decided that while I could tolerate teaching, it wasn't my bag of marbles. Ultimately I think I would feel the same way I do now. Stuck. Birth, however, feels right. I LOVE birth. I can't wait to do it again. I want other people to love birth, to feel victorious, to feel strong! I want other people to show themselves how powerful and loving they are. I want to see babies meet their moms and dads for the first time. I want to counsel people through their fears and doubts to see them conquer those feelings! Unfortunately there are two "complications" (read: two things that scare me). 1) Education. To become a Certified Nurse Midwife I would have to go to school for about 8 years part time (remember, I have to work). It would take a year or two to become a Certified Professional Midwife. One is a master's degree and the other is a certification. One is official schooling and one is an apprenticeship. They do the same thing (mostly) and make the same money with where I would want to take things, so it makes sense to take less time to get doing what it is I really want to do. But I don't want to be less qualified doing it. Such is the dilemma. So that is the first fear. Minor in comparison to the second.
I would be so very responsible. These are people's lives. These are souls straight from heaven. What if I mess up (and I will. I'm not perfect, remember?). What if when I mess up someone gets hurt or dies? Does that mean I am a bad midwife and need to stop practicing, or does that mean I grieve, LEARN, forgive myself, and keep going? I know I would have to keep going. But oh, to be the one around and "in charge" when the One really in charge decides this person needs to go back to him after so short a time? What would I do with the parents pain? How could I possibly have a procedure for that? How do you explain? What if it happened twice? Could I say, like an OB, that these things just happen and we just don't know why? Or would we have the extra weight of being "irresponsible" trying to give birth outside of a hospital. Well, we would have that weight, but what do you do with such a lie? Goodness knows if I get in this and find out I'm not very good at it, I will stop immediately and go back to my safe drafting. And that is the difference isn't it?
Birthing can be very unsafe. How do you educate a parent of the risks without scaring their cervix shut? For those unaware, fear is the number one reason women don't progress in labor. Animals and humans alike have the ability to close back up when they feel like they are in danger (ie when they are suddenly being hunted). It is fortuante that most women choosing midwives are doing so with a lot of education. They understand many of the risks, but they are still putting much of their trust in me. And I a terrified that instead of that increasing the safety of their birth, that it might increase the danger.
Maybe this is a healthy fear that will propel me into being the best I can be. I hope this isn't a fear that locks me down and stops me, if this is truly what I am called to do.
Still, the decision is all but made. Anything can get in the way, and if this isn't the Lord's will, I pray that something would. But for now it seems I am getting ready to leave the grass plains of predictability and about the enter an unknown forest of danger and mystery.
Either way, husband has made a very valid point. No career shifts until I have finished my Associates Degree. I have 3-4 classes left, so it is just a matter of doing it. I totally agree with him. *sigh* At least there is a bit of transition (pun intended!) between all of this.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Not so Hard Things
I just wanted to do a life update real quick as well, because many many things are going very well right now. I'm really very excited about the path I've been lead to.
Right now I am eating half a potato with queso on it, and I fully expect to be full when I finish. If it doesnt do the trick, I know the peach will contribute. I am actually feeling full these days!! It is WONDERFUL! Even more wonderful than that is I am losing weight! I started at 267, and 4 weeks later am 254. I'm actually losing weight. I have been working so hard since Matt was born and have gained and gained and gained. I've never put such a concentrated effort on weight loss before only to gain 15 lbs over the course of a year (after I lost all my baby weight naturally, it just fell off! Weird, no?). So to have lost that in almost a month, well, you know the Lord is good. Because I have made it more than obvious I can't do this on my own. I'm using the Weigh Down program, and while I know that there is some contreversy surrounding The Remnant Church, that doesn't mean this is a ridiculously effective way to lose weight. I eat whatever I want, whenever I'm truly hungry, instead of when I have the urge (or head hunger, they call it). I eat really really slowly (especailly compared with how I used to eat) so I don't just run over my fullness cue. Now smaller than normal portion sized FILL ME UP! I eat about two meals a day because that is when I get hungry. Sometimes I'm hungry for breakfast, but usually not. Sometimes I'm hungry at 10pm, so I eat (because it is just as sinful to ignore a hunger cue as it is to eat before you get it). It is AMAZIZING. I know I sound like an infomercial, but you can know I'm not being paid because 1) Im still 254 lbs. That isnt really a marketable testimony :-) 2) I don't fully agree with the whole message. I agree with most of it wholeheartedly, but not all.
Moving on, Warren is getting a wee little promotion. Not enough so that I can stay home, but enough that we aren't living paycheck to paycheck. That will be so so nice. We are considering a vacation to San Antonio next summer when the kiddo is a little older. That will be so exciting! I think he will love Shamu. At least, I will! ;-)
Work is gong a little too well, I'm about out of projects to draw! Uh-Oh!
And, our good friends, Stacy and Tommy are getting married tomorrow. Mostly I'm just excited for them, a little worried, but a good mother type should be, I think. ;-) I hope I look fabulous. I know everyone else will, and I want to keep up!
Right now I am eating half a potato with queso on it, and I fully expect to be full when I finish. If it doesnt do the trick, I know the peach will contribute. I am actually feeling full these days!! It is WONDERFUL! Even more wonderful than that is I am losing weight! I started at 267, and 4 weeks later am 254. I'm actually losing weight. I have been working so hard since Matt was born and have gained and gained and gained. I've never put such a concentrated effort on weight loss before only to gain 15 lbs over the course of a year (after I lost all my baby weight naturally, it just fell off! Weird, no?). So to have lost that in almost a month, well, you know the Lord is good. Because I have made it more than obvious I can't do this on my own. I'm using the Weigh Down program, and while I know that there is some contreversy surrounding The Remnant Church, that doesn't mean this is a ridiculously effective way to lose weight. I eat whatever I want, whenever I'm truly hungry, instead of when I have the urge (or head hunger, they call it). I eat really really slowly (especailly compared with how I used to eat) so I don't just run over my fullness cue. Now smaller than normal portion sized FILL ME UP! I eat about two meals a day because that is when I get hungry. Sometimes I'm hungry for breakfast, but usually not. Sometimes I'm hungry at 10pm, so I eat (because it is just as sinful to ignore a hunger cue as it is to eat before you get it). It is AMAZIZING. I know I sound like an infomercial, but you can know I'm not being paid because 1) Im still 254 lbs. That isnt really a marketable testimony :-) 2) I don't fully agree with the whole message. I agree with most of it wholeheartedly, but not all.
Moving on, Warren is getting a wee little promotion. Not enough so that I can stay home, but enough that we aren't living paycheck to paycheck. That will be so so nice. We are considering a vacation to San Antonio next summer when the kiddo is a little older. That will be so exciting! I think he will love Shamu. At least, I will! ;-)
Work is gong a little too well, I'm about out of projects to draw! Uh-Oh!
And, our good friends, Stacy and Tommy are getting married tomorrow. Mostly I'm just excited for them, a little worried, but a good mother type should be, I think. ;-) I hope I look fabulous. I know everyone else will, and I want to keep up!
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