Fat Ass

I broke our toilet. When you weigh as much as I do, or maybe it is a chick thing, you walk around with a constant fear of breaking whatever you are sitting on. It really is kinda funny. "Oh shit, the chair is squeaking. Please don't break." And I'll probably never grow out of it because if I do ever manage to lose this weight, I'll still be rather large as I am tall and muscular, and yes, I literally do have big bones. :-) Anyway, it isn't an excuse for being over weight, but you'll never see me at 120lbs, and if you do, it will be because I am very sick. ANYWAY

So I was sitting on the throne and reached back to give it a flush, but the tubing slipped out and started spraying all over my back from under the lid that is too big for our toilet. I'm also holding a book I desperately don't want to soak. I finally give up and leave my hand wedged between the lid and the tank and let the water deflect off my hand and into the tank. It finally fills up and I can set my book down and get my pants back on and deal with this. Well, in trying to get my hand out, the lid slips sideways into the tank and causes it to crack at the bottom. So now a whole toilets worth of water is spewing all over the bathroom and on my feet and I still haven't marked my spot in the book and gotten my britches up! Warren saves the day by turning off the water (GENIUS). But we do need a new toilet.

So no, it didn't break because of my fat ass, but still, I broke the toilet.

Warren wanted to rip up the tile while we had the toilet off and replace it as well, so I worked off my shame by taking it out on the VCT. My knuckles hurt, but I feel better.

All that to say. It is my birthday today. Guess what we are going to do tonight? Shop for a new toilet. I'm getting a toilet for my birthday. Yup.

I could be pissed, but that really is pretty funny.