The French Laundry at Home

I fell absolutely head over heels in love with this blog some time ago. It is called "The French Laundry at Home". Hopefully you are more cultured than I am, and that title makes sense to you, but for those more like me, I'll explain. Apparently there is this coffee table cook book called the French Laundry. By that I mean most people look through it, not try and make anything out of it. It is Thomas Keller's book named after his famous restaurant. It is gourmet. I mean super gourmet. It is not as scary super gourmet as this woman's net project, Alinea at Home. Close enough I say. Apparently Alinea is about coking sous vide. I'm so unfamiliar with that, I'm not even sure if I spelled it correctly, nor do I care. Ms. Blymire just published her last recipe for TFLAH and seemed like she had quite a good time doing so. It really was quite a successful project for her.

I left her a rather lengthy comment talking about a number of things, but at the end I started to tell her about how her blog was shaping my life. I thought I would finish the thought here since I didn't want to leave such a huge comment in her comment section.

I haven't tried, and have no ambition to try any of the recipes in TFL soon. For one, they scare me silly. That might seem like I haven't learned a thing from TFLAH, but I have, believe me. But they are much too big for me. I'm still trying to get roasting a chicken down and making stock at all. For two, I don't have half the equipment I might need. With some careful improvising and planning I think I could work around a lot of that, but it still hampers the ambition. I also don't have the funds, for three. What makes a recipe good is the ingredient, and much of the ingredients are somewhat pricey. I could swing it maybe 3-4 times a year, but not at all consistently. I know Carol had to carefully budget to pull off as many recipes as she did in such little time. I also know that the point isn't to try and swing this stuff consistently, but still, it is a reason. I'm not swimming in cash. I'm not even playing in the sprinklers. For four, I don't even have the book, nor can I afford to get the book. I haven't tried very hard to find a cheap copy for all the aforementioned reasons, although I do hope to get a copy some time soon.

What I HAVE done, however, is this. I have started going a little crazy in the kitchen. I'm not cooking through anything, I don't have the patience, time, money, or attention to do something like that. All of those things go to more important things. I have started reading a number of food blogs and printing off their recipes. I've also started tackling my moms classics like saffron risotto (no where near on mom's level, but it is the best dish I make no exception), Coq Au Vin, greens, broth, and this freaking awesome Mexican casserole. It might not seem like a real recipe since it has cream of crap in it, but holy moly, it knocks my socks off, and Husband cleans up 2/3 of it when I make it. I have a peanut noodle thing I LOVE to make. Its another fave of mine I can do. Every weekend I am attempting another recipe. I cook one or two new things a week. I think for a crazy busy full time working mom of a toddler who might not even have the satisfaction of a good dish to look forward to, this is kinda awesome. Because a lot of times I fail. I mean fail fail FAIL. Like throw it out, no one needs to suffer through that, lets eat grilled cheese instead, fail. Sometimes I'm convinced it is the recipe, but other times, I know it's me. And that is okay.

Why is this such a thing for me? Because I am good at anything I try. It sounds conceited, and I guess it is, but it is the truth. I am generally good at anything I try. Knitting, jewelry making, math, reading, singing, acting, teaching, writing, drawing, physics, construction, electronics, etc. I am a jack of all trades. In a way it is nice because, well, I'm decent at almost anything I try. I'll never be an expert, and I don't care. I don't have the personality to care about becoming specialized. If midwifery is for me, I'll never go on to be the the field's expert. But I'll be good at it. The one exception I've found so far? I know you've guessed it. Cooking. Truthfully, I'm not that shabby for someone who has only been trying for 3 years. Really, not shabby but not good. I'm not slightly talented. I do not have the upper hand. I have several friends (including husband) that are much better at this in the same amount of time of trying than I am. That is perfectly okay. Also, there are other things I'm not good at, but I don't care enough to try to get better or be bothered about it. I'm not good at organizing, but I don't care to be, get it? Well, I care to be a good cook. I have this mission in life to best my mom on this. I don't know why. I love my mom and admire her. And I have to be a better cook than she is. :-) I don't have to be, but it is something I just admire the crap out of and I want to emulate it. She is my cooking hero.

BUT, it was TFL that kicked my rear into gear. I had to get over my phobias and get to it. I wouldn't be good at this for awhile, and many things would be wasted in the pursuit to culinary happiness, but just like Carol, I had to just stop thinking about it and try to expand my comfort zone. Did I want to be known as the lady that ate out everyday? Or could I press through the bad dishes and become a respectable cook in the kitchen I pay a lot for (as it is the biggest room in our house by far)?

When you are good at almost everything you try, you shudder at the thought of hindrance of something you would like to do for lack of talent. I just can't say, "Looks like cooking isn't for me." Maybe if I were so bad it was lamentable, but I'm not. And I'm getting better, much better. Perhaps The French Laundry at Home came just at the opportune time and gets all the glory for something that would have happened anyway? I don't know or care. It was SUCH a pleasure to read that blog, and I know her next project will make me just as impatient for the next post as this one did.

Hopefully one day soon I can try the "Cornets". Or maybe the easy "Gazpacho". Also this dessert looks delightful! And honestly, though she hated making it, these sandwiches sound delish! And this. *drool* Until then, I will be perfecting my roasted chicken (which came out not all the way cooked last time.... uh huh)

I know you aren't reading this Carol Blymire, but thanks for sharing your hobby with us. You didn't have to blog it. You didn't have to let us in, but I'm really thankful you have. Thankful you will continue to. Some things are just entertaining, like tetris. Other things, like your blog, are insights into a quest. We saw your heroic side saddle your steed and take this challenge on full tilt with fear in your eyes, and cuts and bruises when you fell off. A lot of us are too afraid to dream. Too afraid to think of the cost. You showed us it is okay if life is hard, because then it has the chance to be good. You haven't impacted just my cooking. You've impacted the way I see life. I have fun. I refuse to be bored. I think about the things I want to do and try to figure out how I can get them done, even if they are spending more time playing with my son or changing my career. So... thanks, again. Have fun with Alinea!